Shit! I'm wavering!
Don't expect anything, please!

My eyes are so sore from crying.
Excuses excuses. Is that all you have?
What do you want?
I managed to go back to my normal life after that day, and now you came and ruined it again.
Telling me all those crap and saying that you're sorry.
What do you want?!!!

IN SCHOOL NOW!!! HAHAHAHA! alex choo is not here yet! debate later! did sharepoint just now! don't know if i am doing the right thing! hahahahaha! matthew's one is nice! yingwen is blocking the door to prevent alex choo from coming in! but he came in! hahaha! off to prepare for debate! woohoo!

WAKAKAKAKA! ridiculous day on tuesday. hahaha! pon-ed EOC for zinger. =.= HP TEMPTED ME! HAHA! so went to look for her at kfc after stats tutorial. then ate and came back at 5 for the feedback thing. I DUN HAVE TO RUSH ONE! DAMN IT! 害ME RUSH LIKE MAD! my classmates reached the computer lab when I'm leaving. SEE! DUN HAVE TO RUSH RIGHT?! @#$%^&(&%$#@

ahem, anyway, after the feeback thing, went to tampines mall to wait for jing for dinner! wahahaha. she reached at arnd 730. but the 3 of us quite full, so never eat. =.= so ended up in fairprice. haha. hp want to check the price of food for bbq. me and jing were like, “惠冰啊~不用酱早check 的啦。还有两个月leh!” but hp say want check price first so can calculate, so sui bian her lor. hahaha. then i want to buy cup noodles, so went to that section. then jing got tempted. hahaha! hp took 2, i took 5, jing took 4 after much consideration. hahahaha! then when we were about to leave, she saw those 1pack inside got 5 packets de mee goreng. then again, after much consideration, haha, she threw it into the trolley. then we see we like bought a lot of noodles, so we counted. jing's calculations..... ahem! hahaha! she went " 1,2,3,4,9!" hahahaha! but in the end we realise we like take too much, so i put back one curry chicken one and she put back one mee goreng cup noodle. hahaha.

then after that, we went to buy 盐酥鸡. jing and hp dunwan buy one. then i bought and let them eat. then after eating one jing stomped off to the 盐酥鸡 store. HAHAHA! and she really buy! then hp went to buy sushi. then after that went to interchange to take 22. BUS RIDES! HAHAHA! jing keep reminding me that she will be alighting at "my house". T.T "my house" as in my old house, which i miss so terribly. T.T called amelia on the bus to ask if she's free on friday to come my house for dinner. poor woman, so busy, so many projects. then crapped, and hp alighted, and called my phone, conference. =.= jing so poor thing. sit there so lonely. hahaha! i ask her call me conference she dunwan. wahahahaha! then for some reason my phone auto cut off the line. T.T so nevermind lor. amelia doing her cue card for presentation. SEE! SHE'S THAT BUSY! T.T then jing alighted and my ma came and fetch me. bad thing about moving, my parents can 监视me 24/7. T.T

our loot. hahahaha.

yesterday:
GOOD DAY! GOOD DAY!
EYECANDY!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!
I shall not elaborate or it will be too obvious. hahahahahahaha!
but, GOOD DAY! GOOD DAY! HAHAHA!

It was all good, until you appeared in my life again. Even if it's for that short while, I'm still affected. Why?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ACCOUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM SO DOOMED FOR LATER'S ACCOUNTING ICA!! T.T

Thursday dinner with jing and beh! hahaha. went to hub's food court for dinner. then i got the cravings for ice. so went downstairs de dessert de store. watched 新乌龙院 at singtel. hahaha. 释小龍 AND 郝劭文!!! left hub at 8.30 and went home.

watched 康熙來了 with 释小龍and郝劭文 one. ahahaha. 释小龍DAMN SHUAI! WAKAKAKAKA! 郝劭文 STILL AS CUTE! HAHAHAHA! WOOHOOO!

Went to kbox with hp and jing on friday! hahaha. saw pris there too!
OUR 疗伤情歌SESSION!!! AND YET WE STARTED WITH 蔡依琳's 大丈夫！hahahaha!

damn sadded. not enough time to sing everything. ): but yea. WE SHALL GO SING AGAIN SOME OTHER TIME!!!
went to toast box for dinner since we quite full. hp and I had toasts while jing had laksa. discussed about chalet stuff. then jing went to find her ma at fairprice. then me and hp discussed a while more then go home.

BORING SATURDAY!!!
woke up at 4pm, bathed and watched wizards and hannah. then some other shows. ran out of shows at 9. bathed and decided to maple. nothing to do. so went msn. then hp called me. then ask wendy to call too. discussed chalet again, then kup. then now eating my dear dear mee goreng cup noodle. and am loading 康熙來了 now.

In school now. waiting for EOC's room to be available. sitting outside the tutorial room. and I can't sign in to MSN. damn it! ): so sian now. nothing to do, nothing to blog about. oh oh! ahem. i remembered something to blog about.

Yesterday
Went out with cousins! haha. and my ah gong. feel so guilty that nana didnt know that we are going out. AH MA'S FAULT! SHE DIDNT TELL HER!! I ASKED HER TO! SO SORRY NANA! T.T

anyway, went to suntec for dinner. was late as usual :X
met the rest at Cityhall MRT station. then walked to suntec. if i didnt remember wrongly we went to 翡翠小厨 to eat. HAPPY DINNER! the little guys were freaking noisy! MOJO WAS IN NYJC'S UNIFORM! talk talk crap crap. mojo was like discussing about her future with ben. he came back from new york! but he's working now. haha. he was supposed to treat all of us. but ah gong gave him money instead. but he only used ah gong's 100 bucks. then he paid the remaining. and when ah gong asked him we ate less than 100bucks?, he shut up and tell ah gong, “还有找钱” instead. hahahaha. I LOVE MY COUSINS!

NANA! WILL GO OUT AGAIN WITH YOU ANOTHER TIME! some friday maybe? hahaha.

okay. I've ran out of things to talk about. still waiting for the damn tutorial room and I still can't sign in to MSN!!!!!! FREAK!!!

A lot of things happened recently. In just one week, I got a whole different life. In just one week, I realise that I could not live without them, I could never have pulled through if not for them. And in just one week, I lost him. But also, in this one week, I realised he's not worth it.

I have pulled through this one difficulty that I never thought I could. And now, I'm fine and back to normal and alive and kicking! Thanks girls (: I could never have done it without you all. I love you guys!

Okay, since I'm back to normal, I shall update on what happened after I went emo.

Thursday
EOC SPEECH!

Friday
went to hj's grandma's funeral. heart to heart at the playground there till 11+.

Saturday
Nothing.

Sunday
Nothing too if I never remember wrongly.

Monday
CHOMP CHOMP WITH AMELIA, JINGYI AND HP!
had fun today. updated them. ate, crapped, laughed, crapped somemore. I MISS THEM!
went to a not-so-nearby playground for the swing. rushed ahead of hp to the swing. SLOWPOKE! hahaha!
then sat on a bench next to the playground and crapped again. decided to go hub as amelia needed the toilet. so went hub at arnd 8+. saw toast box and jing had a sudden craving for laksa while i wanted to eat the kaya toast. went to basement de toilet and fairprice. hp went to look at perfumes, then amelia saw one with the name "Loving you". then we started singing DBSK's Lovin' You. but i still dun like the perfume smell. hahaha. but she find it nice, so hp and her bought perfume while me and jing were thinking about food. hahaha.

went toast box for toast. jing dunwan laksa already as it was late, 10+ la. then had a "night-breakfast". we pretended that it was 10 in the morning. haha. amelia and i ate kaya toast, but mine is with the egg set. jing had pork floss toast set and hp just peanut butter toast. the toasts came later. the aunty came with the kaya toast and amelia ate it first. after some time we were wondering where's my toast. then amelia's box got 2 pieces. she couldn't finish so she offered hp half of the remaining one. when hp ask me go ask the aunty about my toast, amelia suddenly gasps and said scarly ours is together. so she ask the aunty who was cleaning up the table nearby normal toast is one piece or two. the aunty say one. after that she put her half-eaten-should-be-mine toast back into the box and ask hp to put back also. then she apologised and give me back. HAHAHA! so i ended up eating what they left. T.T HAHAHAHA! that scene is classic. hahahaha. she still can ask me “怎样，我的口水好吃吗？”after i finished my toast! but GOOD DAY! GOOD DAY! hahaha!

Tuesday
School, usual stuff. Nothing special happened.

Wednesday
Now. In school, POM tut.

这样也好。你本来就不适合也不属于我。我会振作起来的！我一定会！姐妹们！放心吧！我还是拥有巨大神力超MAN 的林敏怡！
看开了，觉得释放了。虽然心很痛，但我会没事的。就如我们家wendy马说的：“拿得起放得下” 老娘拿得起这段感情，我就一定放得下！我不管是用摔的、丢的、甩的，我都会放下！
时间，会冲淡一切。你将会是我的一段回忆。总有一天，我会站起来的。虽然需要时间，但，我一定做得到！

I dedicate these songs to myself!

It all ended officially on 10July2009.

I said "I Love You" to you for the last time. Although it hurts so much that I can't breathe, it will be the last time I'll say the three words to you.

Why did it end like this? Just last week, you told me you love me. But just today, you told me you like someone else. Have you been toying with me all along? I guess that's a really stupid and obvious question to ask..

I love you so much, that I find it hard to just let go.
Why can't I stop saying the three words? I really should stop saying that.

I'm not sure what else can I do now, other than saying "I will give up", when I know it will be so so hard.

Why Did I Fall In Love With You? I'd like to know.
I really can't stop saying this when I know I shouldn't, but I Love You.

I love you too much to just let you go..
It hurts me too much to do that.
I'm enduring it. But I'm afraid, I won't be able to endure any longer.

Wanted to watch 蜡笔小新 just now. Reached for the VCD, and I thought of you.
Shit it. Everything reminds me of you.
Maple, 蜡笔小新, my phone, msn, 康熙来了,even my favourite JaeJoong.
wth is wrong with my brain?!

You stopped bothering.. But why can't I stop thinking about you?

Thanks my dear jiemeis for pei-ing me through this. I love you all ♥♥
The times I spend with you all makes me forget about him, even if it's for a little while, I'm grateful for that.

You're not my future, no longer my present, but definitely my past. I'll stop loving you.

I missed my dosage of heineken today ):
Memories.. Sec 3 Taiwan Trip. Sec 4 YJ's bbq. And all other times. I Love Heineken. Cheers people. I miss those times...

Forget it. I really should just give it up right? It hurts so much, so much that I can't take it anymore. It happened before, but not once has it hurt this much. We're over, right? I can no longer salvage things between us. I can no longer hear your voice. I can no longer love you. If I continue to do that, I will die. I will die....

How did it happen? I don't know. I don't even know why did I let you have the ability to affect me this much. This much.. is enough to let me feel something I've never felt before. And I hate it. I hate it..

I'm giving up.

Xiah's Rainy Night : I carved your name, to the cross that I can't pull out from my heart, baby, you are my love.

Yes, your name is carved to the cross that I can't pull out from my heart. But now, I have to, right?

And I can no longer say that you are my love, because I have to force myself to forget that I love you.

But let me say this for the last time,

I Love You.

Why did it happen all over again?
Why are you doing this?
It hurts so much, so much that I can't breathe.
I love you, but I guess it's time to give up.

Friday
Went for roti prata at casuarina at thomson on friday with amelia, beh, jing and hp. went hub's food court with the purpose of eating dinner there. then we dunno what to eat. so hp and jing went to look arnd and buy first. then after they left for some time, amelia suggested chomp chomp =.= never say earlier!! hahaha! then after chomp chomp she say she want eat roti prata. then suggested casuarina and ah mei cafe. so she called hp, but they ordered their food le. actually wanted to forget it, so beh went to buy. then she came back and me and amelia still dunno want eat what. so in the end.. CASUARINA!!!

went for prata. hohoho! actually wanted to order more but we suddenly full le. hahahaha.
then went back to hub walk arnd. meet my sis to ask her help me take my stuff back. then went home at 10plus. went back hub again at 11+ to watch transformers 2 with family.
this will be the second time i say this but.. TRANSFORMERS ROCKS!!

then went home at 2+ in the morning, can't go online. =.= dad 盯得很紧. T.T but still slept at 5plus anyway. zz

Saturday
I only remember chionging EOC ICA2. :X

Sunday
I still only remember chionging EOC ICA2. :X :X

Monday
SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Start of school after 3 wks break. surprisingly i only 赖床 for 5 minutes when i still slept at 5plus. and miraculously, I'M NOT LATE FOR ACCOUNTING LECTURE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

School............. I got nothing to say about it. :X
BUT, guess what i did during my break?
CHIONGING EOC ICA2 AGAIN!! :D:D (see the sarcasm!) =.=

then went for html, got back my test, i passed with a flying B! hahahaha. then met beh after school to go home together. she so pek chek with her html. HWAITING BEH!


Days without you.. I wonder how did i survive.

OMG!!!!!!! PPL PPL YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS BUT I AM HARDWORKING!!!! HAHAHAHA! I finished my MicroEcons tut yesterday morning at 5am(nice timing), EOC summary before my MicroEcons, and i did my EOC ICA2 speech outline and AFA just now. WOOHOO! I AM HARDWORKING! HAHAHAHAHAHA! it's a 难得case okay?! 难得that i even do my homework. SO PRAISE ME PPL! PRAISE ME! XD

Chatting with beh on msn now. discussing what to wear on saturday night. hahahaha. cannot overdress but cant too la ta also. going back for mf's musical. went for the sake of going out at night though. hahaha. going to meet jing,hp and maybe beh ltr at hub, after i eat my dinner. and now is only 4.10 in the morning and i am already talking about dinner which is at 6+ pm. =.=

am so bored! think i shall watch super junior's EHB again. hahaha.

supposed to be doing my EOC homework now. but i dunno how the hell to write a summary on MISUSED WORDS! so sidetracked to blogging. =.=

went to watch subaru with beh,jing and hp today. FINALLY WATCHED! I LOVE CINE!!! i thought i would NEVER get the chance to watch DBSK on the BIG BIG SCREEN. thank buddha!
i screamed when DBSK came out. THE WAY YOU ARE! OMG! SHUAINESS!! JAEJOONG AH! AND MICKY WITH HIS HAT! MY GOD!! beh squealed when she saw xiah. HAHAHA!

not bad la. but not as touching as everyone said it would be. few drops of tears rolled down only. jing,beh and hp say they 哭不出来. the tears die die also wont roll down. i thought will cry dao like when we watch 恋空that time. hahaha.

after that we went kfc for dinner. hohoho. ZINGER!!!

i took this picture and didnt manage to get my HEAD in the picture.

our 号码牌 for zinger and hp's BANDITO! hahaha.

I want to go back to the time before i met you.
I want to go back to YEAR 2008! :(

So many emo people these days. And unfortunately, I am one of them. zzz.

Okay, maybe not emo. um.. upset? temperamental? sad? angry?

zzz. whatever. I shall go with emo.

Why am I talking to myself? On a BLOG some more! zzz.

Really going crazy.

내가 미쳤어!

Suddenly think it's not worth it. You're not worth it. Are you? :X
I'm not sure myself. ):

사랑하고 안싶어, 진짜. ):